how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
