so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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