i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
