1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
