I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
