He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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