I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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