i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
