I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize