no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
