I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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