Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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