One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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