I want to have your abortion
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
