Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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