she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
