Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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