I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.