I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.