he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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