wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
