porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
