just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
