I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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