i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
