White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
