There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
