Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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