I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
