I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
