so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
