Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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