Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
