I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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