did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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