Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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