My brain says no but my pants say off.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
