i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
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Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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