i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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