my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize