was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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