You can't special order awesome
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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