I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
