K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
