pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
there's paper in my vomit.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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