Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the day after is always just damage control
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
