why didn't you poke me back
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
