You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
