The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
