it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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