Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
