if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
