READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
