i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
