if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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