His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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