so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize