All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
