thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
