So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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