He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize