Yo dont text me then not text me
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
