Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
