All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
