You're a womanizer and a bitch.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
