He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
