i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
