Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
